When I was about 4 or 5, my older sister and I were playing in the backyard on our swingset. Back then my sister loved coaxing me into doing stupid crap, like I’m sure most older siblings do. So this particular afternoon she told me if I jumped off the swing, I would be in the army. Now, I have no clue why I wanted to be in the army, but this was an offer I could not pass up. I kept swinging, getting higher and higher until finally I was ready for lift off. Til this day I don’t really know how to explain the following events accurately. In some crazy way I managed to fly backwards under the swing and hit my mouth. I have no idea how, it had seemed as though I defied gravity or something.  It hurt at lot, but hey, I made it into the army. Anyway, I digress. That was the day I chipped my front tooth.

Fast forward 18ish years, I had recently started going to the dentist a few months ago. They pretty much told me that my mouth was a hot mess and I needed a lot of work done. I should preface this by saying I’m not the hugest fan of the dentist. Not because of the pain or procedures being done. That’s the easy part. It was the constant judgement by the dentist and dental assistants that scared me shitless. But I knew I should probably take care of my dental drama and I had insurance! So, why not?

During the course of a few months and several grand later (ouch, the most painful part) I went to my final appointment yesterday. I was still a bit confused by the last procedure because I could have sworn I did not have a cavity in my front tooth. I mean, my oral hygiene isn’t that bad. Then I remembered my lovely chipped tooth. Honestly, it was so minuscule that I had to point it out every time I told my “army story”. Plus it had become a part of me (both literally and figuratively). So I asked the dental assistant for a bit more information on what they were going to do. She said quite condescendingly that I had a cavity in the corner that needed to be fixed (And people wonder why I’m not a fan of the dentist). And I was told my chip would remain.

So, I was sent back into the office and they got me prepped and ready for the filling. I had also asked would it be noticeable. Despite the fact that they are a hot mess, I have a great looking set and I didn’t want to ruin the merchandise. I was again reassured that I was in great hands. The dentist came in, very friendly told me that this wouldn’t take long and I would be good as new. I actually liked him because he had been very nice and nonjudgemental throughout the whole process. So I relaxed and they started.

After about 30 minutes of having multiple hands in my mouth, I was done. The dentist told me to bite down on some blue paper to see if my teeth line up. And then added that I needed to be careful with chewing my front teeth otherwise I could chip my tooth again. “What?” was what I stuttered after he told me this piece of information. Then he added, yeah we fixed that little chip in your tooth. He then gave me a mirror to check out the procedure. And then walked out of the room like he had cure an innoperable disease. I sat there looking at my teeth for a few moments.

It was gone. My quirky little chip that had been there since I was a child had been covered up without my consent. I was so dismayed, I had grown to like it. I remember being in my teens thinking I should get it filled but it was really not even noticeable so I just let it remain.  I was really upset that I had asked for them not to touch it. But what really pissed me off was that they had tried to pass it off like it was a cavity and it was only a cosmetic procedure. I felt like I lost a bit of my childhood history that day. So now I sit here with pearly white teeth mourning the loss of my chipped tooth. But on the bright side, I think this gets me out of being in the “army”. 😉