How to be a Creep in Starbucks

I love coffee. I also love staring at attractive men. So what do you get when you put the two together? A very distracted writer, that’s what. I’ve finally perfected my writing routine. I write my rough drafts with a pen and paper without headphones on, it’s quite glorious actually. Once I’m done fleshing out the article, I then open my laptop. You’d be surprised how productive I am lately. Anyway, I’m getting my writing on and this attractive gentleman decides to sit next to me as if he didn’t know his gorgeousness wouldn’t be a distraction.


While I can appreciate him sitting next to me, it makes for some difficult creeping. Any professional creeper knows that the target should preferably be across the room for optimal creeping to commence. So what does one do when they aren’t able to creep without getting a restraining order against them? You strike up a conversation. So that’s exactly (well pretty much) what this introverted girl did.


For someone who is pretty solid at holding conversations, man my flirting game sure is wack. After texting my outgoing friends on things to say (who all instructed me to say some cheesy pick up line), I wasn’t sure where to begin.Then fortunately like a sign from the heavens, my internet connection goes down. Sweet! I have an in.


Like a vulture swooping down on a newly dead carcass, I say the magic words “Hey, is the internet down?”. Yup, I’m a smooth operator. What’s even better was the fact that I totally tried to bail on the conversation as soon as the words came out of my mouth. My mind was screaming “abort mission… ABORT MISSION!!!!!!!”. It was pretty bad. The guy was nice and suggested I try and restart my connection (which I knew to do) and offered up the anecdotal “It happens at this location a lot” .


I could feel my awkwardness all over the brief encounter. If only I had a camera crew to follow me around to capture these wonderful moments. The guy, to his credit, was quite friendly and congenial, while totally freaked out by the interaction, recoiled back into my creeper state.

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I have to laugh at myself though. Here is a person who regularly pitches businesses and universities on the regular, yet I fail miserably at talking to some random hot person. I suppose everyone has their strengths. But hey, at least I still have my creeping abilities. 😉


2 thoughts on “How to be a Creep in Starbucks

  1. A rather nice looking lady was staring at me at Starbucks the other day. I was sure she found me attractive . . . . Til I went to the bathroom and looked on the mirror. . . I had forgotten to finish shaving the left side of my face.

    Liked by 1 person

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