The Coffee Snob

I started brewing coffee at home in 2013 because A: I don’t have to put on pants to get it; B: I don’t have a sugar daddy to fund my Starbucks habit (goals). Being the creature of habit that I am, I have a very systematic approach to my coffee making process. I do not change said process and had no desire until my beloved coffee maker died on me last week, which has forced me to put on pants and drive the ever so long half mile down the street to Starbucks.

The other day, my roommate pointed out that she has a  Mr. Coffee in the closet that I could use since I haven’t replaced mine. I shook my head in disgust and said “Nay! I shall not forsake my Bella Dots 2.0 Coffeemaker!!!” (I totally speak like that in real life). Obviously, my broken coffeemaker was far superior to her working one. Today, however, I had no desire to wait in the insanely long line for my coffee. Like Judas (Happy Easter, by the way!), begrudgingly I rifled through the closet, pulled out Mr. Coffee, and put it to work.


Although I deviated from my usual device, I took care to ensure my coffee recipe remained the same. Since I like my coffee with a side of diabeetus, I have this super awesome Caramel Macchiato creamer that I use. It’s quite delicious.


Anxiously waiting for the delicious nectar to finish the brewing process, my drug-addled brain was in overdrive.

“Will it taste the same… my head hurts… I need coffee… at least I’m not wearing pants.”

Alas, the coffee stopped brewing. I carefully pour stimulant into my favorite mug, added my creamer to the mix, and took a cautious sip.

Score!!!! It’s good! Dare I say it almost tastes the same as my beloved Bella Dots (loyalties people, loyalties). I did my celebratory no pants dance (good thing the roomie is not home) and sat down to enjoy a good book and my coffee. I still have plans to get my Bella Dots (I have a replacement warranty, I’m just too lazy to exchange, pathetic, I know), but until then, I can brew at home, in my no pants glory.



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