The conscious uncoupling of my socks

Breaking up is hard to do. Especially if it’s with your socks. And they’re the ones doing the dumping. Socks have minds of their own and they’re plotting against us. Let’s be honest, I refuse to believe that everyone who has ever lost socks did it because they were scatterbrained. No, our socks have left us. It’s not us, it’s them.



For as long as I can remember, I have had the toughest time keeping paired socks together. I always seem to end up with one or not the other. And it’s not just with one pair. It’s all of them.

So due to this frustration, I buy the same type of socks, that way I don’t have to worry about pairing those that don’t go together. For years, I’ve been enjoying the same boring socks and my system worked. Until now…

Recently, I made the decision to up my sock game. I mean, wearing the same grey Adidas socks were getting old. Not to mention, Target was having an oh so great buy one get one half off sale on their really cute socks.

Like a buzzard descending upon a fresh carcass, I ambitiously swooped in and buy 2 dozen pairs of different styled socks!! I know, I know, pat myself on the back for a change. This was a few weeks ago. Things were great, they were going well. I had managed to wash my socks several times without having a fallen soldier. So naturally, the minute I think I don’t have to worry, I find that I have a sock that’s gone AWOL.

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Socks on the lamb

I did my laundry the other day– like any other laundry day. I took care to make sure I had all of my socks together. Then after taking them out of the dryer while putting my folded clothes away, I had noticed that one of my men did not show up for duty. So naturally, I go and check the dryer. Nothing. I scour my laundry room frantically looking for my beloved sock. Alas, no luck was had.


But seriously, where do socks go when they decide to leave us? Is it to find better feet? Or maybe they decided to be more than just footwear. Either way, I suppose we’ll never know. So now, I write bitterly in a Starbucks, vowing to never buy different socks again. There’s just too much at stake. Anyone else have socks that have gone AWOL?  Let me know! 🙂



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