5 AMAZING ways to be a Rockstar While Working From Home

Posted on February 17, 2015 Posted in Bum Chronicles, HumorTagged Advice, anxiety, artist, budget, dark humar, Depression, exercise, finances, Freelance, Funny, Humor, intercation, Money, Routine, satire, working from home, Writer, writing2 Comments

Freelancing is not for the faint of heart. It can be great, it’s not always sunshine and daisies. While you technically are your own boss and there is a lot of freedom in the role, it takes a lot of dedication, discipline, and patience. But who wants to be successful? Ain’t nobody got time for that. So to help my fellow writers out, here’s a list of 5 ways you too can kill it working from home.

1. Don’t Go Outside

Seriously, DON”T. GO. OUTSIDE. EVER. Who needs vitamin D anyway. Going outside is for chumps. Be a hero and stay inside, in the dark, under the covers, while slaving away on your laptop. You don’t need to feel the sun on your face to feel alive. The backlight glimmer of your laptop brings the hope of anxiety and potential emotional breakdown. You can’t get that kind of joy from the outside world.

2. Don’t Exercise

Who needs all the benefits of endorphins? Instead, sit your ass on your couch and enjoy the Duck Dynasty marathon. You don’t have to be about that exercise life. Even better, order take out, all the time. Let those fitness freaks do all the running. You’re doing a different kind of marathon… a Netflix marathon, that is.

3. Don’t Budget Your Money

Budgeting is for wimps. You have a rockstar life to maintain. Who cares if your workload isn’t the steadiest? You have to show your friends that you’re a baller without a boss. So live it up. You can always block the calls from debt collectors

4. Don’t Talk to Anyone

You’re an artist. Remember, people are the enemy. The perks of working from home means that you don’t have to interact with anyone. That line “no man is an island” is a load of crap. Creating literary genius requires isolation from the outside world. I mean it worked for Hemingway, right?

5. Don’t Have a Routine

This one is incredibly important. If you truly want to be at the top of your game, you must not have a plan, like, ever. Just slap a bunch of crap on the wall and see what sticks. Work in circles aimlessly. Don’t ask for help either, that’s the lame way out. You’re on this road along… forever… for all eternity. Help is for the weak, you must endure.

Follow these 5 steps and you too can have a rewarding, amazing, anxiety filled depressing career… errrr what???

Ok, ok… so I may be pulling your leg a little. Going down the road less traveled requires more work than one might think.While working for yourself has its rewarding moments, if you do not keep a healthy balance of work and life, it can go south very quickly. In fact, if you don’t pace yourself, you could go bonkers (trust me, it’s happened to yours truly). Get a support system and remember to have a life outside of your work. Freelance responsibly, my friends!

Consistently Inconsistent Pt. 2

Posted on July 24, 2014 Posted in Bum Chronicles, Freelance, Humor, LifeTagged anxiety, blogging, Freelance, friends, Fun, hiatus, Humor, Life, Netflix, Posting, writingLeave a comment

Hello everyone!!!!

The one thing you can count on with this blog is to: not count on anything!

My apologies for my whacky sporadic posts, I swear I have good reasons (excuses)!

1. I’ve been making friends! Yes it’s true! This introvert has met a few great ladies here in Satan’s Buttcrack, so you can blame them for me neglecting you. 😉

2. I’ve been marketing my writing services like a madwoman. I forgot that you have to work in order to make money, so I’ve been doing just that! You can check out my website here. Go on, you know you want to.

3. I’ve been hiding under my covers watching Netflix. Sad but true, I’ve been coping with the ever-changing world with Hemlock Grove. It’s a creepy show yet very addicting. Also Bill Skaarsgard is smokin’ hot!

With that all said and done, I’m back, I swear! Again, don’t hold me to it, but I’ve missed blogging and talking with my fellow bloggers. So talk to me! I want to know what awesome things are going on with you! 🙂

5 Things You Shouldn’t Say to Someone Working Freelance

Posted on May 21, 2014May 21, 2014 Posted in Bum Chronicles, Humor, LifeTagged 5 things, 9-5, Career, Family, Freelance, friends, Humor, Life, Money, Myths, Peyote, PJ's, Sarcasm, Serial Killer, Tradition, writing2 Comments

By definition freelance means: A person who sells services to employers without a long-term commitment to any of them. Now that we have that covered, a freelancer can be involved in virtually any industry doing almost anything. But for the sake of this post, I’ll be talking about freelance writers. Believe it or not, the writing industry is incredibly vast and there are so many avenues one can take. No matter which niche you decide on, writing as a profession takes some serious commitment and is not as easy as one might believe. With that being said, I’ve heard from my peers some of the most unintentionally ignorant remarks about freelance writers that tend to make my blood boil. Without further ado, here are 5 things you shouldn’t say to a freelancer.

“I wish I could sleep in”

On the contrary, freelancing has made me more punctual than I have ever been in my 24 years of existence. I have a set morning routine in which I wake up before the sun (early bird over here), get coffee, walk a few miles with Abbey, shower, and get ready to start working. I find that mornings are best for me when it comes to working. In addition, besides doing actual work, I’m always reading up on brushing up my writing or looking at new projects. Since you’re getting work from companies, it’s best to keep normal business hours. Most successful freelancers take their work seriously, thus have set hours in which they work.

“I’d love to work in my pajamas”

To be honest, I’ve never worked in my PJs. I do have an aversion to pants, but most times I am fully dressed. Freelancing is different than the traditional 9-5 but it still is work, so I treat it as such. By getting dressed I set the tone that I am in “work mode”. Plus being in your PJ’s 24/7 just doesn’t sound appealing to me.

“Must be nice not having a boss”

While I do not have a “direct supervisor” I do have editors to please and it can at times be a bit trickier than your traditional boss. Editors that I have worked with come in all different shapes and sizes. Meaning to say some have given great direction and communication and others… well, might as well be speaking in a different language. Having the same boss would at least give you the ability to understand their expectations. Don’t get me wrong, I like it this way, but it’s not all sunshine and daisies as some might believe.

“You must not like people, or you’re anti-social”

Just to clarify antisocial is a term that is supposed to be used for the likes of Jeffrey Dahmer and Ted Bundy. I assure you, I am not a serial killer. I do like people though that can be debated from time to time. Some think that freelancers are by nature hermits. That is totally not true. Sure, I have to make more of an effort to socialize, but it’s something that I try and keep up with. Not having coworkers was one of the hardest adjustments I had to make. I have had some interesting times with the help of Meetup.com (more on that later). Plus I’m sure my dog only listens to me for Dentistix so for her sake and mine, I make time to hang with friends.

“When are you going to get a real job?”

The biggest and most common insult of them all. I get this a lot from well meaning friends who do not understand what I do. While the human side of me wants to point out that I make more per hour than they do, I simply smile and say I’m happy with where I am. I suppose to the outside world, I get to sit on my bum and ponder life’s mystery while magically getting paid. I get that it’s hard to understand the ins and outs of freelancing, I’m still figuring it out myself really. But seriously, it is real work in exchange for real money.

To be frank, if I worked the way my peers thought I did, I’d be broke living in a van down by the river. I am not an existential hippie smoking peyote while doling out philosophical advice to the masses. Sure it’s not the traditional method that most people are accustomed to, but there are guidelines that I adhere to in order to be successful. So next time you want to ask your friend, neighbor, cousin, or whomever about their freelance endeavors, it’s ok to be inquisitive, just don’t be a douche. 🙂

linguistblog.com

I Came, I Saw, I Got Rejected

Posted on May 13, 2014 Posted in Bum Chronicles, Humor, LifeTagged addiction, Article, English, Feedback, Freelance, Humor, Inspired, Motivation, Positive, Pursuit of Happiness, rejection, Starbucks, Thick Skin, work, Work Ethic, writing1 Comment

Greetings!!

I am here writing to you all to tell you about my great news of failure! I was turned down today because my writing was not what they were looking for and I can honestly say I could not be more pleased. You’re probably thinking I must be on something, but really, I am glad to have received this news. Why you might ask? Because I’ve been rejected and I’m STILL HERE!!!

A few weeks ago I wrote about how I received some constructive criticism and I took it pretty hard. I also admitted that I have not had too many opportunities where my work was not good enough. It made me super sensitive to negative feedback because of my lack of experience of it. Well, that’s changing! It’s strange, I receive the email and instead of doing my normal “hide in bed and watch Duck Dynasty” routine, guess what? I wrote another article. It was that simple. Dare I say, my skin is getting thicker.

I appreciate the rejection because this time around, it made me more determined to get more involved in my writing and work harder. As a freelancer, I’ve been super fortunate to be a part of several projects that help fund my Starbucks addiction. This has also made me complacent in my writing capabilities. So to be told no every once in awhile forces me to reevaluate and put in some effort.

Today helped me solidify that I really enjoy what I do and I’m able to conquer one of my biggest fears: failure. I can’t tell you how encouraging it was for me and that it’s motivating me to keep on in my writing pursuits. Ok, now that I have that out of my system, it’s back to the writing board. Happy Tuesday!

So, yeah, I’m Pretty Awesome

Posted on April 23, 2014 Posted in Bum ChroniclesTagged 20something, Bonobo, Brooklyn Bowl, bum, Compliments, Concerts, Current Events, Decor, Drinks, Good Vibes, Harmony, Humor, inspiration, Iphone, Las Vegas, memories, Nature, Peace, Photography, Photos, RedRock, Self Acceptance, Vegas, weather, XXLeave a comment

I tend to downplay my awesomeness. I.E. when someone pays me a compliment, I tend to brush it off. More often than not because I usually don’t have the confidence to admit, that “hey, I might be talented”. It’s hard accepting compliments without feeling that A: you aren’t deserving of them, and B: you don’t want to appear cocky. I’ve also realized that I’m not the only one. Why is it, that most people (particularly of the XX variety) don’t take in positive affirmations well? I’m baffled by this. It’s like I’m automatically ready to dismiss anything nice that anyone says about me. It’s kind of sad really. So in my ever-growing quest for self acceptance, I’m challenging myself to take a compliment and accept it. No strings attached, no negative self-talk, just the appreciation that someone else likes whatever it is that I’ve done.

In unrelated news, I’ve been trucking along on my Bum Chronicles. I had the very distinct pleasure of seeing Bonobo in concert. If you’ve never listened to him I have attached a YouTube video of my favorite song of his (I love all of them, but I can’t post everything now can I?). It was at a newer venue in Las Vegas called The Brooklyn Bowl. If you’re ever in these parts, I definitely recommend that you check it out. It’s Brooklyn inspired decor plus the fact that you can eat, drink, bowl, and catch an amazing live act in one place makes it incredibly unique and super awesome to boot. Though it’s technically on the Strip, it’s far enough removed that most tourists aren’t even aware of it, which is nice for locals. But anywho, I digress. I absolutely LOVED the concert, just seeing all different types of people being moved by miraculous sounds is just something words cannot capture. The closest word I think that could describe the mood is: Harmony. I think that leaders of all countries should just attend a concert and get swept up in the vibe. Maybe we’d all get along better. Nothing like a good ol’ concert high. Well, there were people toking it up, but that’s unrelated to what I’m talking about, lol.

Also, my ventures to RedRock have been so amazing and great. I’m kind of a nature enthusiast now. Who would’ve thought? Getting out there in the open is so incredibly relaxing. It’s like my soul is being reborn every time I go. Fortunately there’s like 18 different trails, so I’ve been diversifying it up each time. I wish this weather would stay like this forever! So to some this up, learning to take a compliment, going to more shows, and getting outside more often than not are my main takeaways as of late. There’s so much to do and see, I want to take in all of it! I’m putting a bunch of photos of my shenanigans. Compliments are welcomed ;-).

How to Procrastinate Like a Rockstar

Posted on April 22, 2014May 3, 2014 Posted in Bum Chronicles, HumorTagged ADD, Avoidance, Beats By Dre, BuzzFeed, Carbs, Creep, Facebook, Festivals, Funny, Humor, Lollapalooza, Men, Music, Nook, Pasta, procrastination, Starbucks, Tasks, Tetris1 Comment

Step 1: Think of the task that you’re supposed to be doing

Step 2: Go to the local Starbucks with the intention of doing said task

Step 3: Order a highly caffeinated beverage that will render you incapable of doing anything productive

Step 4: Take a million of those nifty quizzes on buzzfeed

Step 5: Creep on all the hot middle aged men in Starbucks

Step 6: Text all your girlfriends about said buffet of hot middle aged men

Step 7: Play the Facebook version of Tetris and conquer all who are in your way

Step 8: Revisit said task and have a quick thoughtful moment on how to accomplish it

Step 9: Look at the Lollapolooza set list and contemplate if you will pony up the cash to go this year

Step 10: Think about carbs and how you want to stuff your face with a bowl of pasta

Step 11: Realize said task is not going to get done

Step 12: Creep on any potential hot dudes in Starbucks

Step 13: Look away when getting caught scamming on dudes

Step 14: Take an “artsy” photo of your stuff in Starbucks

Step 15: Post said photo on all social media sites

Step 16: Enjoy the outpour of likes said photo receives

Step 17: Contemplate becoming a photographer for 2 seconds

Step 18: Avoid thinking about what you’re supposed to be doing at all costs

Step 19: You realize that Starbucks may not be the best place to get stuff done

Step 20: Go home and figure out how you’re going to finish said task

Said Artsy Photo

Caught With My Pants Down Pt. 3

Posted on April 22, 2014May 3, 2014 Posted in Bum Chronicles, HumorTagged Boyshorts, caught with my pants down, dancing with myself, Family, freedom, Funny, Humor, Indecent Exposure, politics, Sister, treaty, undies1 Comment

As many of you who read my blog know, pants and I don’t necessarily see eye to eye. In fact I only put them on when only when necessary. With that being said, I’ve developed a strategic system so that my sister and her family are not scarred for life by my “trouserleness”. I actually made a “terms of agreement” with them, so that way we all can live harmoniously without the oppression of pants. I get up pretty early, around 4:30 or so, so until around 7 am, when everyone else get up, my dog and I roam the house, pants free. After 10pm if I’m still up and around, I walk around however I please. The “No Pants Peace Treaty” has worked quite well, until my sister forgot to inform me she was having company after 10. This is where my plight takes place.

It’s 10 on the dot, I’m downstairs just hanging out rocking the boyshorts, grabbing a bottle of water, and rocking out to some tasty jams. I’m also looking out at the patio up in the sky strewn across with a cluster of stars. The Vegas weather has been nothing but amazing so I was taking it all in. Then, in a random instant, the doorbell rings, Abbey goes ape-shit (she hates being surprised), and runs to the door. My sister answers and invites one of her friends in. Fortunately for me, I’m in the kitchen, wearing just a V-neck, sweater and boyshorts. Since the kitchen is strategically sectioned off from the living room, all they can see is a seemingly fully dressed me in the kitchen.

My sister then offers her friend a drink and she accepts. They start making their way to the kitchen, and I’m just standing there with a creepy/embarrassed smile on my face trying to figure out how I can not so creepily explain my plight. Fortunately for me, my sister gets to the kitchen first. She’s laughing at a joke that her guest had made and literally mid-laugh, she stops in her tracks, looks at me in my no pants glory, bewildered. She pauses then laughs and explains to her friend that I’m “freelancing” and to wait in the office so I can put some pants on. I then jokingly point out that it’s past 10 and my sister laughs and agrees, then apologizes that she forgot to tell me she was having a girl’s night. I shrug it off, honestly I was more concerned for the girl’s embarrassment rather than my own.

You know, you’d think I’d stop running around without pants by the shear amount of times I’ve been caught. But I will continue the no pants fight as long as I live to see another day. In addition to the “No Pants Treaty” my sister shoots me a text should there be guests past 10 in which I happily retreat to my room with my pup, in my no pants glory.

Scared? Well, Do it Anyway

Posted on April 1, 2014April 1, 2014 Posted in Bum Chronicles, LifeTagged Ambition, anxiety, Avoidance, Bed, Bestseller, CWWS, Duck Dynasty, Fear of Success, Freelance, Humor, Just Do It, Nike, Published, Repeat performance, Scared, Scaredy Cat, success, Writer2 Comments

I suffer from a debilitating chronic condition known as CWWS or Chronic Worry Wart Syndrome (it’s real, look it up. Ok, you got me, I’m full of crap). CWWS affects my ability to live life to the fullest by riddling my nerves with anxiety to the point where the only remedy is to hide from the world in the sanctity of my bed with my pup binging on Duck Dynasty. Following the flare up of CWWS is self loathing by my inability to face my fears and more guilt ensues. What causes CWWS you ask? Well, fear of success is an indicator.

You’re probably wondering how success can be scary. After all, it’s what most of us want right? The reality is,that once you’ve tasted the nectar of success, you have the added pressure of a repeat performance. Like the 1st time bestselling author who has to do a follow up book that is at least equally as good as their first novel. Fear of failing is a very real reality. So how does one get over CWWS? Well like Nike says, “Just Do It”.

Recently I put it out in the universe that I’ve decided to become a freelance writer. I’ve had a pretty good start, but I’m not out of the woods yet. It’s still a surreal feeling that people other than my mom (thanks mom!) like my writing. My CWWS is trying to rear its ugly little head but by golly I’m not gonna let it win. I’ve always existed in autopilot because simply, you can’t fail if you’re not really trying. The thing is potential can only be potential for so long. So, by announcing my goal means that I have to follow through. I’m a bit of a commitment phobe so this is going to get interesting. I said earlier that some of my work has been published, so the first hurdle I’ve cleared. Now it’s onto the repeat performance. Interestingly enough, I’m not longing for my bed or Duck Dynasty yet, so I’ll take it as a good sign. So here I am, scared shitless but determined to do it anyway. If you or a loved one suffers from CWWS too, I’d love to hear from you! You know what they say about misery and company and all that jazz. 😉

stephaniemcmillan.org

Damn it Feels Good to Be a Gangsta

Posted on April 1, 2014April 2, 2014 Posted in Bum Chronicles, HumorTagged 20something, bum, Creativity, Drugs, Freelance, Humor, inspiration, Proud, Published, Writer4 Comments

www.picstopin.com

So, I’m going to take a moment to pat myself on the back. Since being a bum has been fun, I’ve decided to make it a permanent thing by becoming a freelance writer. Honestly I was beating myself up and didn’t think my writing was good enough, but turns out it is (who knew). Some of my work has been recently published on different sites and I could not be prouder. Getting published is the best kind of drug out there and it’s one that I want to keep being on. So excuse me while I continue to get “high”. I’ve posted a couple links so check them out if you like!

https://www.careeraddict.com/en/6614/5-ways-to-get-right-mentally-to-get-right-physically

http://www.wearable.co.uk/blog/cuff-bringing-technology-fashion-together/

Broadening My Horizons: A Tale of a Starbucks Junkie in Need of a Fix

Posted on March 25, 2014March 25, 2014 Posted in Bum Chronicles, Humor, LifeTagged broadening my horizons, Bum Chronicles, change, comfort zone, Dog, Dog Park, Fitness, Humor, Life, New experience, Pedestrian, Perk Up, Renovation, Rumpelstiltskin, Walking1 Comment

Since having to give back my company car and leaving mine in California (I refuse to register my vehicle in Nevada), I am a bonafide pedestrian. Up until last week, this was a welcomed change since I was absolutely tired of driving, plus my sister lets me borrow her car if I need to go somewhere far. All of my life’s necessities are in walking distance (Starbucks is .44 miles and the dog park 2.2 roundtrip). Also, I’m fortunate to have found friends who are in total support of my bum life so they cart me around if necessary. The weather right now could not be more perfect so Abbey and I have been exploring the outdoors everyday. Things could not be more perfect until they aren’t.

As of last week both Starbucks and the dog park that Abbey and I frequent are under renovation. Like seriously, what are the odds of that happening and why is life so cruel?!! Since I live in one of the newer suburbs of Vegas, there’s not a hubhub of coffee shops around for my choosing. I was disappointed about the dog park as it was more of a work out for Abbey than myself. So instead of acting like the chick in Rumpelstiltskin and crying when shit got real, I decided to find an alternative to my usual ventures. One of the coolest things I enjoy about where I live are the paved sidewalks. It’s like a pedestrian’s dream! So instead of taking Abbey to the dog park, I just lengthened our walks. 3 miles in the morning, and about a mile nightcap before bed.

-Tired pup after walking all over the world…err well, Vegas

As for the coffee shop dilemma, that was a little tougher. Not only did Starbucks quench my caffeine junkie soul, it’s where I get my human interaction. So not going for a week was making me a little restless for human conversation. Since I knew the next nearest Starbucks was about 5 miles away from my house, I was going to have to go with another one. I should also mention that I totally support local businesses so I figure me going to a local coffee shop would be killing two birds with one stone. Alas, after a quick Google search, I found the perfect place called Perk Up. It was 2 miles away and a straight shot from my house, so those amazingly paved sidewalks would come in handy. So today, I made the trek to the coffee shop.

-Yay sidewalks!

Since I’m like a walking pro, it only took me 38 minutes with a heavy backpack. Once I entered the coffee shop, I knew I had come to the right place. The music was legit and the place was absolutely adorable! I loved the color scheme and decor. It definitely put out the “sit down and write” kind of vibe. I even had the barista recommend me a drink. It was called the Lunch Date which was a chocolate and strawberry iced latte. Not my kind of thing but hey, I tried something new.

-The Lunch Date

Perk Up has all that I look for in a coffee shop and it was a little cheaper than my beloved Starbucks. This will be my new hangout until my usually hangout is done, and who knows, maybe it’ll be added in the rotation. I’m very glad that I ventured out of my normal radius and found this place. Who knows what other shenanigans I can get into if I keep expanding my horizons. 😉

-I absolutely love the color scheme

-A shot from the entrance

-View from my seat.

Taryn Was Here

Category: Bum Chronicles