Fear and self-loathing in Las Vegas

Why hello there,

Long time no see!

First and foremost, I hope everyone had a splendid holiday! Mine was swell, except I spent most of it abandoning my family due to work obligations (yup, I am owned by the “man” once again, but more on that later).

Now that I’m finally starting to understand the work/life balance game, I’m back in the blogging world!!

I have some awesome news to share with you all, including being published in a prestigious magazine, but that is a different story for a different day. So on with the show!

I’m having the case of nostalgias lately. A.K.A., I’ve been sulking in a corner licking my wounds and moping like a whiny baby because life is unfair.This has been brought on due to the fact that I haven’t had very much downtime and I’m growing increasingly unhappy doing what I’m doing. Fortunately for me, my mom came into town for a couple days to visit and it was definitely much needed.

I’ve always appreciated my parents and have known how lucky I am that they are really awesome. Quite honestly, I prefer spending time with them than most people because they’re fun to be around. While my mom was in town, I got the pampered kid treatment; the dinners, hugs, and words of encouragement, which was exactly what I needed after the on the job drama I’ve had (I swear I’ll talk about it later).

On top of having my mommy in town. My best friend’s little brother, Micah, who’s like my own little bro happened to stop in Vegas and needed a place to crash, so he came to my house. I haven’t seen him since my trip to SD last year, so it was nice to catch up and see how he doing. Even though I only got to see him for an hour, it was really nice just to chat with someone from back home.

This weekend was fun with my mom, but I was super bummed to take her back to the airport. While driving, I felt like a little kid being taken to daycare for the first time. I did not want my mommy to GOI even accidentally went to the wrong part of the airport. Alas, she is back in Monterey and I’m moping a bit.

I suppose being back with old familiar faces reawakened parts of me that have lain dormant for some time. There was a point in time in the world where I was fearless and took life by the balls! Where that girl is, I’m not entirely sure, but something tells me, she’s going to be resurfacing soon. 😉

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Man! I Feel Like a Woman! (No I don’t)

I hope the Shania Twain reference wasn’t lost on anyone. If it is, shame on you, it’s quite a catchy song. Anyway, I digress. As a member of the XX chromosome club, I can attest that women do/wear some of the most uncomfortable/painful things for the sake of fashion. Being the self proclaimed tomboy that I am, even I have fallen prey to the use of non-sensible shoes. Flats, to be specific. I bought some super adorable (super evil) flats the other day and I wanted to be “cute” and wear them to work. Since moving back into my sister’s house, I can’t seem to find anything.

This morning, I was trolling for the little footie socks I wear with flats. I couldn’t find anything so I thought screw it, I’ll go without them (don’t get disgusted, you know you’ve done it before too). BIG MISTAKE!!! For anyone who’s had to endure the hardship of breaking in flats (or any other uncomfortable shoe for that matter) my toes are the casualty in the war against looking plain.

By the end of the day I was limping like I was attacked and beaten in the woods and left for dead. Unfortunately, I had to run to Target to grab some new socks and some Band Aids® for my poor battered feet. So, at the risk of looking like a group attack victim, I held my head high and pretended to walk as best I could while maintaining what little dignity I could muster. Maybe it was the searing pain from the torn blister on my right foot or divine intervention, but I managed to leave Target with only the items I had on my list.

Finally I made my way home and applied this miracle contraption that is Band Aid®. I ponied up and got the blister relief ones and boy am I glad I did. Anyone who has a blister I recommend you do the same, you will not be disappointed! I swear this isn’t a plug for the brand, I just happened to really appreciate their existence more today than usual. So anyway, I’m sitting here in my moccasins giving my feet reprieve from the hell that I put them through today. I think next time I want to break in new shoes while working, I’m gonna have an extra pair on deck, and some extra socks….

The video is what I imagined I looked like at Target… Enjoy 😀

Micromanage Me, Please!

Here’s an article I found on Harvard Business Review that is helpful for anyone who has encountered a boss that micromanages. I myself have struggled with this in the past. I hated getting ready to go to work because of the dread of dealing with said boss. The incessant emails/texts at all hours. The expectation to work whenever I was awake. It was incredibly daunting.  For a while I thought that is was just me, but as it turned out, that person managed everyone that way; which says a lot about them and not their subordinates. 

Since I realized that it wasn’t my performance that was the issue and my coworkers and I knew we couldn’t change it, we decided to have a little fun with our situation. My co-workers and I starting making daily $5 bets on how many emails our boss would send us. I’m proud to say I won quite a bit and I took my winnings in the form of a caramel macchiato :-).

Have you ever had the “pleasure” of dealing with a boss who micromanages? How did you cope/survive? 

 

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Sorry, Not Sorry

 

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Growing up, girls are taught to be polite and respectful. You learn that it is not a good idea to be rambunctious or make a scene. Even in adulthood, particularly in Western culture women who are assertive or speak their mind are seen as off-putting. So a lot of the time women find ways to be expressive passively (note: this isn’t scientific fact, just my observations). Interestingly enough when women enter the corporate world, many find it difficult to find their voice/niche in the work force. 

I myself experienced this problem entering the corporate world. I often found myself apologizing for speaking up, asking a question, or if I had a differing opinion than that of a colleague. Recently, I was baffled as to why I felt the need to make apologies for wanting to contribute.  After examining my behavior at work, I wanted to kick myself. Who says my opinion doesn’t matter? Why can’t I voice my concerns or objections to ideas at work? I suppose at an early age I conditioned myself to be agreeable, polite, and submissive to a certain extent. To be fair, it’s how majority of women grew up, it’s a perpetuated idea that the ideal woman needs to possess the above “qualities” I mentioned. Well, that doesn’t fly in the working world.

 A week or so ago, I made the resolve to change my passive behavior. Getting out there and being an active member with the rest of my colleagues gave me a greater sense of belonging. For the first time I took control of my role in my work. I began to ask questions and give feedback without apologizing for my participation. And you know what? It felt great. 

Have you ever had difficulties being vocal at work? What did/do you do to change that?