I do things as seen here
Happy Monday!
Failure, whether personal or professional, is always a sign of growth and effort. I spent a lot of time being frozen because I was scared to fail. But you know what? I’ve failed at a few things and I’m so glad I have! In those failures, I’ve learned a lot about myself and how I can grow. So with that, I hope you all put yourself out there, failure and all! Life is so much better when you try. Have a great week! š
A little over 3 months ago, I saw the 100 day project and jumped at the chance to be part of it. Continue reading “My #100DayProject Failure”
Have you ever sat in a crowd of people and felt like you were the only person in the room? If there is one thing that I’ve learned these past 5 months is that no man is an island. You need people in your life, both professionally and personally. I will admit, I tend to try to go the lone wolf route and I can guarantee I’ve fallen flat on my face because of it. Now I’m understanding that I need to connect and also ask for help and that it’s ok to do so. There’s no point in trying to reinvent the wheel, especially if there are tons of good ones out there already.If I had to offer any advice to my millennial cohorts it would be this:
1. Be Honest and Ask For Help
If you do not understand something, talk with someone who does. I cannot tell you how many countless endeavors, I‘ve been at the mercy of because I did not want to appear “incompetent”. This has been a tough habit to kick, but the funny thing is, the more I communicate my needs, the more I connect with others. I find that when I’m being emotionally honest and am investing in a conversation, I’m getting more intrinsic value out of it. That only happens when you are honest with what you want and seek out others to make it happen.
2. Be Vulnerable
I used to think that being vulnerable was a sign of weakness, and boy was I totally wrong. Whether you’re summoning up the courage to talk to the dude you creep on at the coffee shop, or asking for more responsibility at work, you have to be transparent. Sure there is a possibility that you may not get the result you were hoping for, but you wouldn’t get it anyway if you did nothing altogether. And who knows, you could have a hot date and a raise, you have to put it out there first.
3. Invest in Others
In the culture of “now now now” I find it commonplace for people to not put much effort into their relationships with others. You would think with all this technology surrounding communication, we’d be pro’s at interpersonal communication, but that is just not so. We’re so plugged in looking for the next best thing we don’t realize that what we’re looking for could be right in front of us. It just takes a little time and elbow grease to get there. Instead of dismissing one another, try and actually get to know people. I’ve been working on getting to know others and not writing people off, and you know what? Some of those people aren’t half bad. Had I just gone with the first impression and kept my elitist attitude, I would not have seen the awesomeness of some people I am proud to call friends. I could spend a lot more time on this and maybe I will in another post, but if you take anything away from this, I hope it’s that we all need someone to lean on at some point. Whether it’s a friend, family member, or significant other, you have to have someone you can confide in. Of course, this can be absolutely terrifying in the beginning. Sharing feelings? Yuck, who does that? But once you start it’s one of the most rewarding experiences one can have. So I challenge everyone to ask for help, or talk to a stranger sometime this coming weekend. Who knows where it could take you? š
Yesterday I wrote about receiving constructive criticism and how I was going to “learn from the experience” and all the jazz. Well, to be honest, I have not written nor researched the project I’m supposed to turn in. Instead I’ve been licking my wounds, sulking while playing Tetris, and avoiding all responsibility. Why? Honestly, because I’m not use to being told my half-assed work doesn’t cut the mustard. I’m intelligent, no really, I’m pretty damn smart and I’ve been getting away with so much bullshit because of it. With that being said, it’s given me the ability to slack off and still come out the victor for many years thus making me arrogant, a little entitled, andĀ possessing aĀ gross sense of overconfidence in my procrastination abilities. In laymen’s terms, my shit doesn’t stink. However yesterday, I had to wake up and smell the poo.
Being told that my work wasn’t good enough was like a bullet to the heart, granted I really did not put in the effort. To give you a better understanding, I wrote a 1000 word article on a topic I had absolutely no idea about in under an hour. That time includes the research that I did for the article. Of course on the shallow spectrum the article is amazing, it offers some basic insight on the subject. However the client does not want a fluff piece, they want a serious in depth article and are shelling out legit dinero for me to do so. So why I thought a bullshit puff piece was going to work is beyond me.
Currently I’m stuck in the land of anxiety and avoidance. My fear is that I could write this article and do it justice, thus greatly changing up my M.O. and forcing me to “try”. On the other hand, I could put my blood, sweat, and tears into this article and still not be good enough. The more I talk with friends and peers, I realize I’m not alone in the conundrum. My people (millennials) suffer from fear of rejection. It’s true, ever wonder why most 20somethings don’t commit to say, anything? It’s because in order to succeed in relationships, work, life, etc you have to make an effort. Some of these efforts we win, and some we lose. Let’s be honest, losing sucks and we don’t want to do it. So there’s thisĀ lackadaisical approach to a lot of endeavors. We mask these fears by offering up explanations like “focusing on my career” or “I like not having to be tied down to stuff”. That’s code word for being scared of commitment because of the possibility of failure. As I said yesterday, I think this stems from not being exposed to enough rejection. I’ve rarely opened myself up to the possibility of rejection. This has left me extremely sensitive to criticism/rejection, so much so that I’m hindering myself.
In order for me to really grow from this experience, I need to take a good look in the mirror and honestly accept my part in my lack of effort. As much as I hate to admit it, I’m going to need to experience some good old fashion rejection to become more accustomed to it. Now, I’m done throwing my pity party and I want to experience the world come what may. I need to do that article, not because of monetaryĀ reasons,Ā but to show myself that life requires participation. Failure is part of the equation and I must embrace it. With that being said, off I go, shutting down the anxious thoughts in my brain to conquer this fear! My challenge to my fellow millennials is to do something that you’re afraid of. It’ll make you better in so many ways. š
That was something my mother told me when explained to my parents that I wanted to leave my “cushy corporate life” for the unknown island of bummage. A decision I have not regretted in the slightest. As I’ve said before I have the “gift” of doing things “half assed” and still come out smelling like a rose, well for the most part. The one thing that I love and respect about my parents is that they never tell me what I want to hear. They tell me the truth whether I like it or not, and for some reason I’m able to swallow my pride and run with it.
I am (or was?) predictable to a T. Anyone who knows me can tell you what I’m doing, where I’m doing, and who I’m doing it with (no pun intended š ). Seriously, calling me a creature of habit barely begins to scratch the surface of it. Why? Honestly, I think it’s because there is comfort in the predictable. When you know the outcome, you can never be hurt, disappointed, or fail ultimately. I think that’s the reason why I’ve always been a “successful” slacker. If I succeeded, great! If I didn’t, I could always blame it on my lack of trying.Ā Bottom line, I don’t always want to be a person with “potential”. I want to use that potential and be great.
āThe greatest waste in the world is the difference between what we are and what we could become.ā -Ben Herbster
Taryn Was Here 