Fiasco – Taryn Was Here

Looking for friends my age in Vegas is pretty tough. A lot of 20 somethings are here because they live for the nightlife and want to be in a club, on the dance floor, while chemically out of their minds. I’m not knocking that lifestyle, though I prefer more low key events and being in my right state of mind. I imagine that MeetUp is pretty much the same as online dating, except you’re looking for friends. Sometimes you meet weirdos who are not who they say they are. I happened to fall victim of this circumstance a few times last year. Here is one of the instances.

how-to-land-a-job-at-meetup-f7fed03e1b

Last year, after making it my personal mission to have a little more fun, I decided to join a new MeetUp group which catered to 20-30 somethings. Since I tend to be more of a wet blanket, I figured I’d get along with an older crowd. The event was a happy hour at one of my favorite downtown bars, Commonwealth. Since I haven’t been in forever, I figured, what they hay? One of my new friends was actually part of the group so at least I had a friend should this thing go south. And boy, did it go south pretty quickly.

One of my favorite parts of Commonwealth is that it has a great deck that holds a bunch of people overlooking downtown. Plus you can be as casual or as dressy as you like. I should also mention that I did some recon (stalking) of the members of the group so I can get a sense of what I was walking into and I didn’t see any red flags. I made my way upstairs since that was where the MeetUp was being held. I get to the group and introduce myself to the group and I can say for certain that 90% of the women in attendance used the term 20s and 30s very liberally.

To be honest, I’m pretty sure
that I was at least 20 years younger than most of the women (at the time I was 24). Despite my externally welcoming presence, I’m incredibly introverted. Seriously, most people are shocked to find that out, because I can come across as very social. Anyway, back to the Golden Girls.. er I mean 20s and 30s MeetUp. Instead of being awkward, I try my best to make conversation. My futile attempts were met with tight-lipped smiles. You know that smile you give when you’re talking to someone who is obviously “young” and too immature for the conversation. In my defense, I was one of the three girls who were actually in the age bracket, sorry I didn’t want to talk about denture glue.

Anyways I digress, I ended up bonding with the other two girls who were 24 also, we were talking and then all of a sudden the moderator of the group, Bianca, brings over some creepy dudes introducing them to us “young girls”. I couldn’t believe it, I was being pimped out for my youth. The emphasis on our ages was quite obvious and the older women kept mentioning that the group was full of 20/30 somethings.

The creepy older dudes beseeched upon us like a biblical plague. I was taken aback as this was supposed to be a girls bonding type situation. Having guys as old as your own father try to hit on you is creepy at best. Turning to look at the other girls my age, they were doing their best to be polite and cordial, though I could tell one thing was certain; we all wanted to get the hell out of there.

I politely excused myself and the girls did the same. Laughing about the awkwardness of the situation, we left to the next bar to drink away the weird encounter. The night actually ended up being a good amount of fun. We found ourselves going back to Commonwealth for their 90s hiphop DJ. I spotted Bianca with one of the creepers she had introduced to us. To be polite, I said hello and thanked her for putting together the meetup. As I was speaking to her, her gentleman caller had started walking off into the crowd. Mid-sentence, Bianca stops talking and starts sprinting after this dude as though he is the last viable man on this earth.

I turn to my friends, both shocked and laughing hysterically. Needless to say, that was my first and last time attending a MeetUp with the 20-30 Somethings group. Though it was a strange experience to say the least, I did make a new friend that day. While I hope the best for those ladies, I think the name “Find a Date Before it’s too Late” would be more fitting. 😉

I think I may be one of those rare “single people” who don’t mind Valentine’s Day. In fact, not only do I not mind, I have an annual tradition set in place since I was 17 years old! It started one fine Valentine’s Day back in 2007 (Yikes I’m getting older O.o). My friends and I were in the local grocery store, walking in like a badass posse strutting our independence because we drove ourselves in my Mom’s Mini-Van. I rocked the shit out of that van back in the day.

My friends and I had planned on going back to my house and baking a crap ton of delicious treats while watching a movie. As we were getting ready to leave the grocery store, I happened upon a rack of movies. It was there that I found THE Valentine’s Day movie of a lifetime. I picked up The Departed and thought to myself “I have no clue what this movie is about, but for the sake of looking cool, I’m going to go with this one.” Yes friends, I picked a violent Boston mob film to watch on Valentine’s Day. The ridiculous part was, that it went well! I thoroughly enjoyed the film, as did my friends. Thus a tradition was born.

Fast forward 4 years, and I found myself carrying out my beloved tradition at college in Flagstaff. I invited my friends over for dinner, treats, and a super badass film. I was particularly excited because a certain someone I may or may not have had a crush on was going to be in attendance. Again, I stress the may or may not. It was one of those situations where you aren’t terribly too sure, or at the very least you didn’t want anyone to really know about it. So naturally I did the “deny deny deny” charade for some time.

As I was preparing the food and getting ready for my friends to arrive, I felt a sudden twinge of anxiety and nervousness. I began to feel pretty anxious about all of these people coming over. So naturally, like any smart 21 year old, I decided to drink the anxiety away. After all, what’s the harm in getting a little buzz on before company arrives? Of course, my intelligent, self had not eaten in quite some time, so let’s just say the booze did it’s job.

I “came alive” as my friends piled into my house. It was quite a good sized group, so I was pretty happy with the turnout. Drinks were pouring, people were eating, then all of a sudden, he showed up. Zack entered the room casually late with desserts in hand. I think one of the things I admired most about him was his thoughtfulness. So my buzzed (errr, drunk) ass goes over to greet and look over the tasty treats he’s provided.

I must preface this by saying I am a closeted picky eater. Seriously, there are only two pies that I like: apple and cherry. So looking at his selection, to my horror, Zack had purchased a peach pie. I hate peach pie. Of course, I had planned on doing the nice mature thing by saying “thank you” but my drunk brain had something else in mind. Staring down at the pie I thought to myself “Great he brought peach pie, because I f*cking hate it”. All of a sudden I hear several gasps and the room got quiet.To my shock and horror, what I “thought” I had said to myself, I actually ended up saying out loud. I looked up and surveyed the room to see the stunned faces looking at me. Zack’s face was bright red as I tried to fumble through a terrible retraction/apology.

Fortunately for me, he was pretty gracious about the whole thing and decided to tease me about for some time, and it later became the joke amongst our group. Later that year I made a peach pie for his birthday as a peace offering. As the hostess with the mostest, I proceeded to shove peach pie down everyone’s throats as a sign of solidarity. Needless to say, that was the first dessert finished that night. Even after my little debacle, it was still a great night.

Well folks, that’s how not to behave on Valentine’s Day. Here are a few key takeaways that I hope you’ve gotten from my awesome little blunder

Don’t drink on an empty stomach
Make sure you’re actually thinking in your head and not out loud
When someone hands you a gift just say “thank you” and shut up

I hope everyone had a swell Valentine’s day!

Taryn Was Here

Tag: Fiasco

The Truth About MeetUp

How NOT to Behave on Valentine’s Day