I’m trying to enjoy a rare day off and for some reason, I am stuck in frozen mode. You know that anxious feeling you get when you know you have things to do but for some reason you just cannot move? Well that’s me currently. Even though I’m current on my “to do lists”, I still feel a bit overwhelmed. This whole “adult” thing is still new and a lot to process.
I will admit that I tend to be a wait for the “other shoe to drop”, type of person so at times it is difficult for me to accept that everything is O.K. and to live in the moment. I suppose I’ve been in “overcoming bad shit” mode for so long, I’m scared to enjoy the good. So, to get out of this lame mindset, I’m going to keep telling myself that it is O.K. to enjoy what life has to offer. And, if “bad shit” comes my way, I can deal. For the moment, I’m going to enjoy the good. 🙂
I’m a procrastinator; I fully take responsibility for that. Up until recently, I was a successful one. That sounds ludicrous but hear me out. All during my academia period, I was able to load up on Starbucks and bust out any assignment (be it a paper, math equations, etc.) literally hours before it was due. Maybe it was the thrill of the “do or die” experience, but procrastination was my friend. Plus I never really had any backlash from it.
On top of being a procrastinator, I’m incredibly charismatic. For some reason, my professors, bosses, friends’ parents all seem to think I was awesome. So I was able to charm my way into getting things done, or if I was a little late professors would give me the benefit of the doubt. I was having my cake and eating it too. That is, until recently when reality bitch slapped me in the face.
When I entered the “adult world”, ie a fulltime job, my procrastination skills began to rear their ugly head. All of a sudden, my lack of preparation and preference of turning things in late were not acceptable. (No matter how cute my smile or “legit” my excuse was. For the first time I was being held accountable for my irresponsibility and I did not like it at all. I began experiencing stress, fear, anxiety, and I just became frozen. Whenever I needed to get something on a deadline I would just freeze and do nothing. It really brought me down.
Recently, I decided to get in gear and start making a schedule for myself. I now have a white board that has my entire schedule for the day. It took me a bit to commit but for the past week, I have been following it religiously. I have to admit it feels amazing to be on top of everything. I really like being able to end the day knowing that I accomplished what I set out to do. I also do things better because I took the time to do it right instead of doing a rush job. So here’s to putting procrastination aside and being organized!