Taryn is still here

I’m still alive!

It’s been so long since I’ve written here, or anything at all that wasn’t work-related. I won’t mince words; life dropkicked me and decided to beat me into a pulp. Here’s a kick recap. In the last year:

  • Moved to Texas
  • Fell out of escrow on a home I was supposed to purchase
  • Leased an apartment in Texas
  • Realized my family had more issues than I’d care to admit
  • Went to therapy for said family issues
  • Still working on/coming to terms with family issues/life
  • Improved on setting boundaries– both personal and professional
  • Visited several alpaca farms
  • Made wonderful friends
  • Visited the beach often
  • Saw 3 NBA games live
  • Visited NASA in Houston
  • Went to Dallas to see my first NHL game
  • My parents got divorced
  • I fell and tore my MCL in my right knee
  • I reinjured the MCL in my left knee
  • Was bedridden for 8 weeks
  • Fired clients
  • Spent Christmas on my own and didn’t hate it

Even Still

Yes, this year was a dumpster-fire in a million ways to one. That said, I’d be lying if I didn’t also learn and experience things that will invariably shape my future. So why am I writing this? For one, if there’s anything I hope that people walk away from reading anything that I’ve written, it is the hope that:

  1. Your life is uniquely yours. No opinion on Reddit can change that or give you the correct wisdom to live it
  2. Live has challenges as it does contain cherished moments. Don’t let the hard stuff color over the beautiful stuff
  3. We are all human– and so are your parents/family. Give them grace, even when it doesn’t seem fair
  4. In your time of grief, let God grieve with you. Trust me when I say there are situations that will happen that go fair beyond human comprehension. Let Him carry the burden and you mourn alongside Him.

Grieve Well

I want to be clear in why I’m saying this, because I find that most people of the Christian faith don’t explicitly state this well. When it comes to building a relationship with God (if you so choose) the only way you can do so founationally is if you seek Him for yourself. What I mean is that you have to directly ask Him, you have to read the word to understand, and it’s a relationship that only you yourself can build and develop. Too many times, especially with young people, we want to hide behind pastors, preachers, teachers, etc. as if that will get us through. And, for some time it does seem sustainable. However, when your faith is rooted in people instead of Christ, when hard times hit, you will quickly see how easy people fall. That’s not a dig on people, it’s just the reality of man (myself included). We’re infallible and imperfect. Even with the best intentions we still hurt each other. For this reason (among many others), when life smacks you in the face, leaving you breathless, turn to God and He will not disappoint. I am not saying it’s easy, but I am saying in the time you spend with Him, there is healing. So I didn’t intend this to be a sermon on the mound of sorts. The reason I’m sharing this is because there are so many people struggling with many things looking to other people who are equally lost for answers. I hope in what I’m sharing brings peace to those who are seeking it.

Moving On

I am backlogged on so many stories. I’m excited in that I finally have more time to dedicate to sharing them here. So, while I’m not promising a schedule (though I am planning in the background), I will be blogging more, sharing the laughs– both painful and hilarious moments, and the things I’ve been getting up to while I was away. Cheers!

I got outted

 

No, not that kind of “out”. I still have a healthy appreciation for the male species. 😉

I am referring to a relationship, however, and that is with Christ

Closeted Christian

Up until recently, I’ve always kept a lowkey position about my faith. Not because of shame or embarrassment, but rather out of humility. Today there are so many fake Christians, touting superiority and judgment, failing to see how their behavior is not only abhorrent but a true disservice to what it actually means to follow Christ. For me personally, I always tried to let my actions speak for my faith. Helping those in need, being a light, while trying to live according to how Jesus lived.

Seeing the light

Last year, I went on an epic journey that not only confirmed my belief in God, led me on some epic adventures. I swear my life was like some adventure movie, it was pretty crazy. I was so hooked, I was giving away my stuff to the homeless people in my neighborhood, feeding people whenever I could, it was amazing.

Enduring hardship

One of the biggest things I’ve learned is that the more you begin to follow God, the more you’ll face different types of opposition. At first, I didn’t think anything of it as last year things were practically falling out of the sky. This year, however, has easily been the toughest year since 2008. I literally experienced loss at every level. Work and relationships were obliterated in the process out of the blue. This wasn’t like I dropped the ball in being accountable, quite the opposite. In fact, this year, I poured more love and hard work into every aspect of my life and like rain in a blistering dry desert, all of my resources evaporated.

I’ll admit, I got a little frustrated. At one point, I was asking God, “What gives?”. I was spending so much time helping others and turning the other cheek, and I was still getting drop-kicked in the face. Eventually, I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and decided to really closely follow the Bible, which funnily enough has detailed accounts of every single experience I’ve gone through. Even now as I’m still going through the wilderness– though I feel as that is coming to an end– I can’t help but feel overjoyed with gratitude. In the midst of my struggles, I’ve received mercy and kindness from the unlikeliest of people, and through it all, I’ve wanted for nothing.

Being accountable

So back to the outted part. I’ve been editing my dad’s blog over a year now. It’s a Christian blog that gives anecdotes of biblical wisdom with a chapter of scripture at the bottom. We publish each day. This past week as he’s been in Switzerland, the responsibility of creating content has fallen on my shoulders. At first, I was just going to ghostwrite as I didn’t want to put my name out there. Again, not out of shame, but honestly because I feel like I’m just a snot-nosed young person. What kind of wisdom do I have? Still, I felt compelled to put up something and as I began to write, I realized that I did have something to say. Plus since I was publishing under his platform, it wasn’t like anyone I knew would see it. Man, was I wrong.

Funnily enough, I configured my dad’s blog to share on his Facebook page. Unbeknownst to me, since I was writing under my account, the posts were being shared on my page too! Upon learning this, I was horrified. I was so scared of what my peers would think. I didn’t want anyone to mistake the work for arrogance or that I felt my life was superior in any way. I also didn’t want the responsibility of having to step my lifestyle game up. More to the point, I didn’t want people to judge me when I fall short, which will happen because I’m human.

In fact, my life is a bit of a whirlwind right now, but I say that without shame. But then I realized, that as a person who follows Christ I can express my faith without pretending to claim perfection. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. My experiences have exposed my flaws and I’m working on being the best that I can be. I’ll always be a work in progress, but I don’t need to hide that.

Stepping out in faith

I won’t always be writing on my dad’s blog, but I’ve decided that I want to start reblogging his posts here for anyone who may care to read them. May they encourage you in your journeys! Happy Thursday, everyone! 🙂