Taryn does the work

Posted on October 17, 2021October 17, 2021 Posted in LifeTagged anxiety, cbt, Faith, growing up, Growth, Humor, Introspectiion, Life, maturity, memories, Moments, Reflection, TalesLeave a comment

It’s amazing what you can do when you commit to doing it. That pertains to life, work, relationship, and everything in between. As I continue to work on myself, how I understand the world and people around me, I am pleased to find that progress is possible!

The illusion of control

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about life, it’s that control is a futile pursuit. It’s just not possible, and that’s ok. Looking back, I can see how I’ve tried to control my environment, the people around me, my work, etc., etc., etc. In fact, I banked my well-being on my ability to control the external things around me. Guess what? That makes for a miserable and erratic life. Now, rather than trying to control the things that I cannot, I focus on managing my resources more effectively.

Being responsible for me

These days, I’m focused on taking care of myself, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically, and so on. This also means being kinder to myself. If you’ve spent time with God, you know that He loves you no matter what state you’re in. I’ve worked on (and am continuing to work on) loving myself in that same regard. Conversely, I find that the more grace that I extend myself, I’m able to extend it to others as well.

Enjoying the process

In life, there is no destination, just continued progress. So instead of obsessing over getting to the ‘finish line’, I’m learning to enjoy the process. As I continue my progression, staying present in each moment, I see the beauty that life has to offer. This doesn’t mean that I don’t get frustrated or see the errors and flaws of the world. No, it just means that I appreciate the positive aspects more than I disdain the negative ones.

Reflection in a photograph

A fun aside, I printed and framed my travels all over the walls of my apartment in Las Vegas. In the mornings, I’d sit on my couch with my coffee, and Abbey laying at my feet looking at all of the places we had gone. Like a time machine, each photograph brought me back to the very moment. Remembering those moments and the colorful array of emotional experiences intertwined within them taught me that there is hope even in the darkest times and that God was with me (and still is) especially in the confusing moments that I could not yet process.

The next destination

If you tuned in last week, I finally started sharing my travels that first began in late 2018. Last week was Eugene, OR. This week is Seattle, WA. So be on the lookout tomorrow, as I share my experience in the land of the coffee bean. I spent a month there, soaking up various experiences and people. As I relive these experiences by sharing them with you all, I am filled with gratitude that I was able to embark on these adventures. With that said, I hope you have a wonderful week!

I’m Right, You’re Wrong… Always

Posted on June 8, 2015June 8, 2015 Posted in HumorTagged arguments, conflict resolution, Family, Friendships, growing up, hard word, Humor, Interpersonal Communication, maturityLeave a comment

So I just found out that I don’t sh*t rainbows. This is news to me.

As a “hyper-rational” (a.k.a an arrogant s.o.b.) I’ve always fashioned myself as a great communicator and logical conflict-resolution”er”. Seriously on a scale of 1-mature, I’m off the meter (right mom?). Welp even I have fallen from grace.

I suppose I should admit that “when the going gets tough, Taryn gets gone… quick.” Like Speedy Gonzalez, I run from conflicts and disagreements faster than one can say “onomatopoeia”. I always thought that since I had the least arguments, that meant I was better at having them.

Up until I was 22, when I was having a disagreement with someone, I’d hide under the curt-tails of my parents. Looking back, I have to admit that it was childish, but hey, I didn’t develop the necessary coping skills until recently.

Bottom line: It’s hard to communicate and navigate the interpersonal relationships of your life– especially for the newer ones. For instance, I could have an argument with my best friend, and because we’ve known each other for so long, things get resolved fairly quickly. However if it’s with a newer person, the foundation isn’t there and I’m quick to jump ship.

I recognize that it’s immature– which is why I’m taking aim to fix it, but dang is it hard work! While today was a tough mental day for me in terms of communication and arguing in a productive manner, I have made progress and I am proud! So here I am, getting off of my high-horse. I’m not used to the view down here, but I have a feeling I’ll get used to it. 🙂

Are We Waiting to Grow Up?

Posted on June 27, 2014June 27, 2014 Posted in College, LifeTagged Baby Boomers, Children, college, Decline, Economy, Gen. X, Gen. Y, generation, growing up, Job Market, Marriage, maturity, millennial, Parents, ResponsibilitiesLeave a comment

I’ve been doing some research on an oh so secret project (I’ll explain myself later, promise) and I have been seeing quite a bit of literature out there “explaining” why Millennials “aren’t growing up” or “things Millennials are refusing to do” and I can’t help but feel insulted. The general consensus of older generations is that we’re: lazy, immature, financially irresponsible children who are shirking the necessary responsibilities of life. I could not disagree more. While no generation in its entirety is perfect, I do believe that Gen. Y has a few things stacked against them.

It’s true that Gen. Y is holding off on major purchases, but with the average student loan debt at the end of 2013 being $29,400, can you blame us? These numbers were not even on the radar of 30 years ago. Most students today are facing 20 years of repaying student debt whereas our Gen. X counterparts only had a fraction of that debt. Of course, one can argue that we “dug ourselves into this hole”, but I can guarantee you it wasn’t a Millennial who sold the “student loans are a good debt to have because a degree is a solid investment” line. We also have to deal with the reality that workforce is stacked against us.

The days of staying with one job for 30 years are dead and gone. According to Forbes the average worker stays at each of his/her jobs for 4.4 years. If you ask other generations it’s because we don’t want to stick it out, or we want to be the CEO within the first year. The truth is that most millennials are looking for jobs that can help them manage the unbearably high student loans they have to pay back. The average salary for recent 2013 graduates is $45,327. However, when you put that in context with the $29,400 student loan average and cost of living, it’s not an easy feat. So where are the decent paying jobs? They are still with the same people who applied to them decades before.

Since the average retirement age jumping up from 57 in 1992 to 62 in 2013, Baby Boomers have not been making enough room for younger generations to fill in. This forces, Gen Y to work any job that comes their way to make ends meet. There are as many as 40% of recent graduates are employed in jobs that do not require degrees. Gen X does not understand this hardship because they have the experience and degrees to go after higher paying jobs.

These are just a few things that millennials are dealing with. I’m not even going to touch the dating scene as that could take some time getting into. With that being said, I fully accept the job market and my student loans. No one held a gun to my head as I signed my master promissory note and I am paying them back. Due to the fact that I (and most millennials too) am being responsible for my debt, certain life goals tend to take a backseat. What grinds my gears about these articles and beliefs held by older generations is that their expectations for us are quite ridiculous.

The biggest argument against millennials is that we are immature and irresponsible because we aren’t settling down and getting married. So you’re telling me, that on top of trying to establish a decent career and paying back student loans, I’m supposed to be getting married and popping out babies simultaneously? In my opinion that would be the irresponsible thing to do. Why would I join in union with another person facing the same realities as myself while trying to make a family with a bunch of debt and a shaky job market hanging over our heads? Then to add insult to injury put a baby in the mix. Sounds like a great way for a marriage to fail. Yeah, no thanks.

In my opinion millennials that are not trying to rush into more responsibilities are more intelligent than you realize. It’s not that getting to the altar and starting a family are not goals of millennials, it’s just that there are a few things we need to take care of first. So before you go rushing to judgement about how we don’t want to grow up or are killing the real estate market take an honest hard look at what our reality looks like. It’s not 1980 anymore and we’re rolling with the punches as best we can. Don’t worry though, we’ll “grow up” eventually, Millennials do you agree? What are some of the things you have to figure out before you “grow up”?

My First Coffee Experience

Posted on June 22, 2013March 22, 2014 Posted in Humor, LifeTagged 12, camp, coffee, coffee drinker, Dry Humor, enlightenment, fake it til you make it, Humor, ice blended coffee, maturity, mentor, pretentious, rite of passage, Starbucks, Witty5 Comments

My first introduction to drinking coffee came about when I was a mere 12 years old. I was away at a weekend camp that my school attended every year. This year, I was a mentor to the 6 graders (Because in 7th grade you’ve acquired enlightenment). As a mentor, it was clear that I’d reached the epitome of maturity.

At this camp there was a gift shop in which they sold iced coffees. At 12, I thought that coffee was the drink of intellectuals; and since I considered myself to be highly intelligent, I just knew coffee was for me (In Laymen’s terms I thought I would seem cool and smart so I just had to partake in the ritual). So I went to the gift shop, forked over $3.25 (which was a lot for coffee back in 2001) and bought my very first coffee. I should also mention that my parents did not allow me to drink coffee (But when the cat’s away…). After recoiling from the cost of this forbidden beverage, I waited eagerly during its preparation. A few minutes (which seemed to be an eternity) passed by and I was handed my iced blended coffee.

With my other mentor buddies who also decided to join in on the coffee experience, I sipped my first induction into greatness. DISGUSTING!!! This was the thought that was screaming in my head. The bitter icy sludge that I was ingesting seemed to be more a form of torture than a rite of passage. Of course to save face, I nonchalantly hid my displeasure from the group and casually kept sipping as if all was right in the world.

I did not finish my drink that day. I remember thinking to myself, “Who on earth would drink that crap?!” I was confused, dismayed, and discouraged. All this while, I believed the path to enlightenment rested on this nectar called coffee, a beverage that I did not like! To add insult to injury, everyone else seemed to love it! (I would later find out that all of my friends hated it and just wanted to be “cool” too). So to get over my disappointment of not enjoying coffee right away, I decided to put my quest for enlightenment on hold. It would be a few years before Starbucks entered my world, but, for anyone who would listen, I was an avid coffee drinker from that day on. 😉

Taryn Was Here

Tag: maturity