My mom, the badass

It’s Mother’s Day, and what kind of daughter would I be if I didn’t write an ode to my super duper awesome, one of a kind, mom? I could write a dissertation on why my mom kicks so much ass, but for the sake of time, I’ll try and condense is down to a blog post. In short, my mom is one of the most, if not the most influential people in my life– for better and for worse.  As someone who is fiercely independent and intelligent, I have to give credit to the lady who’s inspired me since day one. I also have to give her an immense amount of kudos for raising someone like me. So here’s why my mom is literally the best mom (for me) in the world!

It’s not easy parenting a “Taryn”

Since my escape from the womb, I’ve always been a conscientious objector. If you said “up”, I said “down”. You say “yes”, I say “no”. According to my mom, my favorite first words were “so what”. In addition to be a staunch contrarian, I also craved my independence, often opting to do things alone, being preoccupied with the world inside my head. I was relatively obedient, but I think it’s fair to say that out of all of my siblings, I was the odd one. God probably should’ve put a label on my behind that said “warning, this one is trouble”. Hehe

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Family circa 2004

So why am I telling you this?

Simply because, though I was/am a peculiar little dreamer with a wild imagination, intolerant of being controlled, my mom supported my choices and decisions, championing my hobbies and pursuits, with unconditional love. When I wanted to become a mad scientist– she bought me a chemistry set. When I discovered my love for writing– she bought me journals. She even supported my short story of an evil mom that I killed off with “canser” when I was around 6-7 (looking back at my childhood behavior, I think I displayed some signs of sociopathy, lol). She watched all of my basketball games, encouraged anything and everything I wanted to do. I am who I am today because my mom never put limitations on my potential, and I’m forever grateful for that.

Cheers to my mom…

for being such an incredible parent, and loving me in spite of all the grey hairs I’ve given her throughout the years. Though she’s in Germany, I think about that crazy lady all of the time. Thank you mom, for enduring me as an infant, and not putting me in an institution as an adolescent. Many could not do what you do! To all of the moms out there, Happy Mother’s Day!!!

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Under the Weather

Hello There!

While I promised to blog more consistently, my body decided to betray me by succumbing to illness. If I’m being honest, me being sick is about 85% my fault. 1: I have not taken my allergy pills regularly which is horrible since I’m hiking every weekend. 2: I’ve been working all hours of night and day and my body is worn out

With this combination of exhaustion and allergies, I lay in bed wishing my mommy was here taking care of me (yes I’m 25 and said mommy). It’s funny, no matter how old I become, whenever I’m sick, I still want my mom. Oh well, Abbey is doing her best to take care of me, looking at me attentively– oh wait– her bowl is empty.

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Anywho, I have a bunch of funny stories to share that include a pregnancy test and almost dying at Red Rock– to name a few. I’ll get around to writing them. In the meantime, you can check out a few things I’ve written this week here and here.

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Abbey and the Loaf of Bread

There are many philosophies on how to house your dog whilst you are away. I suppose it’s like those moms who believe their way of parenting is the best way to parent.

“To crate or not to crate, that is the question.”

On topics such as those I often take a lackadaisical approach to “soap box” parents; dog parents too.

Continue reading “Abbey and the Loaf of Bread”

Can a Girl Just Buy Some Wine??!

I like people…

Well, generally I do…

Actually to be honest, people baffle me at times. 

A few years ago I stumbled upon a survey that I had done about myself when I was 9 (The survey actually says 9 1/2, quite the matter of fact child wasn’t I?). It listed my hobbies, dream job, favorite subjects, etc. Towards the end, it asked me “What annoys you the most?”. And in typical TJ fashion I responded, “people”. A fact that hasn’t changed 15 years later (Looks like 9 year old me was right about me all along.). Don’t get me wrong, I’m as sociable as most and I love interacting with others. Though at times, I need to retreat to my cave with my fur-child and watch Duck Dynasty to relax from the masses. This brings me to my love/hate relationship with grocery shopping.

As I’ve written previously, I am nothing without a list, however this is not about that. My point today is about my irritation with folks at the grocery store. So many people wondering around trying to find things, aimlessly on their cellphones, and a general disregard for personal space. I simply don’t want to deal with that. See, I like to grocery shop at obscure hours. Why? Because there are less people. 6am is totally prime for me because typically it’s a ghost town, or some old fogies are there, but generally, they’re harmless. Last night, I decided to go at night, and this adventure solidified why I do things my way.

Recently, I’ve taken a vacation on my appearance. Bball shorts, hair pulled back in a bun frizzy, sweatshirts, etc. (Side effects of being a soulless corporate lackey). So much so that my mother gently mentioned during the holidays that I “used to take more pride in my appearance” (In laymen’s terms, I’ve gotten fat and look like shit). My run to the grocery store last night was no different. So keep in mind that I look pretty gross, so why some idiot douche felt the need to hit on me, I’ll never know. I should also mention, that when I’m shopping, I am on a mission, I have no time to be bothered for courtship ( Some exceptions will apply, but very seldom). Anyway, I digress, after mustering up the dirtiest scowl I could give, I proceeded to finish up with my “mission”. I grabbed a “Real Housewives” sized bottle of wine because, hey, I’m a bum and day drinking is awesome. And no Mom, I am not an alcoholic (She reads this blog. One day, when I find the words, I’ll share the story of my “intervention” my family staged during the holidays… LOL. Also, I make no apologies as my writing has turned into a stream of consciousness).

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The look I gave said douche.

 

 Ok, back to the story. So with my wine in tow, and a few arbitrary items, I go to the self checkout line. Naturally, since I am purchasing alcohol, my I.D. needed to be checked. The annoying douche unfortunately was checking out right next to me. He made a little quip about me looking super young so the clerk wouldn’t believe I was of age. His little anecdote was met by another dirty glare (clearly he wasn’t getting the hint that I was not to be bothered.).   So I then proceeded to the self checkout line clerk to give him my license. He was busy scanning coupons for another customer so I patiently waited. I was getting a tad annoyed because it took over 5 minutes and he had not once acknowledged my existence ( a simple “I’ll be right with you” would’ve sufficed). So finally he checked my I.D. and I was on my merry little way. In my haste, I carelessly put my wine bottle at edge of the little roundabout. And of course it fell and broke into a million little pieces.

A loud sound of breaking glass filled the quiet grocery store. Now, it’s bad enough that it was a bottle of wine, but do you know what it looks like when a 20 something after 10 pm is buying booze to only break the bottle in the store? Not very good. So after the many faces of judgement staring back at me which seemed like an eternity, one of the managers came over to help assist with the calamity. In super embarrassment, I sheepishly offered to pay for the broken bottle. The manager (who totally gave me an out) laughed it off and told me I didn’t have to and had me get another bottle. Apparently things like this happen frequently there. Round 2, I grabbed another bottle, successfully finished paying for my things (broken bottle free), then went home.

Since this ordeal took a little longer than expected, my sister, who was waiting up for me asked me what took me so long. After regaling her with that night’s incident, she informs me that everyone in the store probably thought I was some ditzy alcoholic (a thought that already had crossed my mind). I just wanted some damn wine. With how difficult that task was, you would’ve thought I was on a quest for the Golden Fleece. Between my klutziness, the unwanted male attention, and interruption of my grocery shopping routine, I think I think I’ll stick to my morning grocery shopping. I’m sure wine bottles everywhere will appreciate it. 

 

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Clean up on aisle 5 😉

Victim of a Good Sale

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I absolutely love a good sale. All rational thoughts cease to exist from my mind once I come across a good deal. I will sometimes (almost always) even buy things I don’t really need just because they are priced right. Fortunately, my mother knows me very well and she usually talks me off the ledge.

One moment in particular was about 2 years ago when I was in Arizona for college. I was at home in Cali with my family and decided to make a trip to Target, one of my greatest weaknesses. Target has this college line that encompasses, furniture, linens, and just stuff for collegiate needs. Since my hometown does not really have a university nearby a lot of the items were drastically reduced in price because of lack of demand.

So, hoping to get a bargain, I stumbled across the bed sheets section and to my delight there was treasure to be had. There were several really cute bed spreads priced to sell! I seriously was like a kid in a candy store. So many amazing things all at once. My brain could barely process what was going on. Gluttony was starting to set in. Should I buy one set? Two? Three? Four?! I just could not get over my good fortune of finding such a phenomenal sale! To even sweeten the pot, this sale was going on for another 5 days.

In a very brief moment of clarity, I decided to walk away, think about it, and return tomorrow once I’ve had a chance to calm down. That night I told my mom and dad about how crazy amazing the bed sheet sale at Target was. Like I said, this lady knows me all too well and tried to reason with me. She was quick to remind me that I already had 4 sets of sheets back at my house in AZ and that I really didn’t need anymore. But, I thought to myself, “It’s such a good deal!”.

The next day, after my eye appointment, I found myself meandering the aisles of Target back at the very same spot I was at yesterday; looking at the sheets. I had my cart ready. Screw logic, it was a good deal! Just as I was about to load my cart with an obscene amount of sheets, my phone rang. For a second my depraved ravenous need to take advantage of the sale momentarily subsided as I picked up my phone to answer it. It was my mother.

She casually called to ask about my eye appointment. I quickly bragged about how my optometrist was baffled by my dramatic improvement in eyesight (My astigmatism of 8 years suddenly vanished as well as my prescription cut in half). She was thrilled for me as was I. She then asked me when I was coming home and if she should save lunch for me. I casually mentioned that I stopped by a store (clever, right?) and quickly attempted to change the subject. For a moment, there was silence. I will never forget the next sentence my mother told me as long as I’ll live.

“Taryn, step away from the sheets, get in your car, and drive home.” She knew! I was caught in the act. I’m sure if anyone could see my face, I looked like a 5 year old kid caught doing something they weren’t supposed to be doing. So, being the good daughter (for the most part) that I am, I walked out of the store, got in my car, and drove home. I still laugh at that memory to this day as I really did not need those sheets. Like I said, I am a sucker for a good sale. I am just glad I have a mother who seemingly has a sixth sense of my habits to ensure that I stay on the straight and narrow; and I will forever love her for that.