Caught With My Pants Down Pt. 3

As many of you who read my blog know, pants and I don’t necessarily see eye to eye. In fact I only put them on when only when necessary. With that being said, I’ve developed a strategic system so that my sister and her family are not scarred for life by my “trouserleness”. I actually made a “terms of agreement” with them, so that way we all can live harmoniously without the oppression of pants. I get up pretty early, around 4:30 or so, so until around 7 am, when everyone else get up, my dog and I roam the house, pants free. After 10pm if I’m still up and around, I walk around however I please. The “No Pants Peace Treaty” has worked quite well, until my sister forgot to inform me she was having company after 10. This is where my plight takes place.

It’s 10 on the dot, I’m downstairs just hanging out rocking the boyshorts, grabbing a bottle of water, and rocking out to some tasty jams. I’m also looking out at the patio up in the sky strewn across with a cluster of stars. The Vegas weather has been nothing but amazing so I was taking it all in. Then, in a random instant, the doorbell rings, Abbey goes ape-shit (she hates being surprised), and runs to the door. My sister answers and invites one of her friends in. Fortunately for me, I’m in the kitchen, wearing just a V-neck, sweater and boyshorts. Since the kitchen is strategically sectioned off from the living room, all they can see is a seemingly fully dressed me in the kitchen.

My sister then offers her friend a drink and she accepts. They start making their way to the kitchen, and I’m just standing there with a creepy/embarrassed smile on my face trying to figure out how I can not so creepily explain my plight. Fortunately for me, my sister gets to the kitchen first. She’s laughing at a joke that her guest had made and literally mid-laugh, she stops in her tracks, looks at me in my no pants glory, bewildered.  She pauses then laughs and explains to her friend that I’m “freelancing” and to wait in the office so I can put some pants on. I then jokingly point out that it’s past 10 and my sister laughs and agrees, then apologizes that she forgot to tell me she was having a girl’s night. I shrug it off, honestly I was more concerned for the girl’s embarrassment rather than my own.

You know, you’d think I’d stop running around without pants by the shear amount of times I’ve been caught. But I will continue the no pants fight as long as I live to see another day. In addition to the “No Pants Treaty” my sister shoots me a text should there be guests past 10 in which I happily retreat to my room with my pup, in my no pants glory.

 

 

 

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My Time in Exile

You should all go and listen to Third Eye Blind. Ok, that’s all I had to say.

Just Kidding!

But seriously, they are legit. Anyway, I’ve been terrible (not a surprise) at chronicling my bum adventures. I’m currently heading into week 5 of my bummage. There have been a lot of twists and turns, ups and downs, and all of the in between. There are a few reasons as to why I’ve been away. First and foremost, I’ve actually began to have a semblance of a life! Secondly, the first two-ish weeks were spent with me having panic attacks (more on that later). Thirdly, honestly I didn’t know how/what to say about it. But now I’m back! With a bunch of words that will be construed into sentences. I can’t guarantee they’ll make sense, but here goes.

So previously I’ve written about the difficulties of making friends and that I had intended to go downtown a while back. Well, I’ve hit those marks, and quite well I may add. Long story short, I’ve met some ladies around my age and have actually been meeting up with them on the regular. Yes, that means I’ve been putting on pants (begrudgingly), leaving the comfort of my bed and pup, and have been thriving in the “real world”. Granted, I’ve had to be waaaayyyy more conservative on the spending do to my bum status, but nevertheless, I haven’t been happier. Well, it hasn’t been all fun and games.

The first two weeks, in between making friends and all that jazz, I was a total spazz. You see, I’ve always done the “practical” thing. Go to school, maintain a job, know exactly what you’re doing at all times, etc etc etc. Bottom line my motto was “YOU HAVE TO HAVE A PLAN!!!! ALWAYS!!!!! I cannot emphasize to you how firmly that belief was embedded into my core being. So for someone as uptight and neurotic as I am (or was/is?? who knows, lol) doing what I did was no easy feat, and it had psychological ramifications that then manifested into physiological ones known as wonderful panic attacks. I was so stressed, the unknown (at least for me) is such a scary scary place. Just to give you a clearer picture, I am so predictable that back when I was 19 I created a weekly event with my friend call Spontaneous Tuesdays (the irony is not lost on me). Theoretically, Tuesdays were supposed to have spontaneity and intrigue but in actuality we would end up at the same place, doing the same thing, and I even parked in the same area. So folks, my parents should have named me Predictable Pam. Anyway I digress from my point. The transition was a tough one and honestly I wasn’t enjoying it until my sister pointed out some apparent (not so apparent to me) arguments as to why I needed to chill the eff out.

I was on my way to Target and she could tell that I was stressing, so she looks at me and says “Dude, you have no reason to be stressed out. You’re not homeless, you’re not broke, and you literally have no major obligations. So chill out and stop finding problems when there are none.” I was getting ready to counter, but then I realized that she was absolutely right! The tightening pain I felt in my chest disappeared as quickly as it had come. I looked in the mirror and thought to myself, “I’m free, to do absolutely whatever it is that I desire. This is not an exile, this is a chance for me to enjoy being me!” So, I’ve been doing just that. I even have gone out of my comfort zone and have done some pretty cool things that are very unlike myself (more on that later).

Believe it or not, I am slowly, but surely growing quite comfortable with the unknown. After my little revelation (with the help of my sister), I chilled out and life is good. Not only have I made friends, having this free time has forced me to really develop my interpersonal skills on a personal level. Professionally, I’m great at communication and forging relationships (money talks). Personally… I have to some work to do. I suppose I’ve always been able to hide this (well, at least from myself) because I’ve been buried in work for so long. I’ve even changed my exercise and eating regimens (more on that later). All in all, this time to develop myself is exactly what I needed. I have grown exponentially this past month and I’m looking forward to seeing how else I progress! Don’t worry, I’ll be posting more funny stuff soon. Lord knows I’ve been on enough adventures in the past few weeks, so stay tuned!

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