Why I Hate Those “25 Things You Should do at 25…” Lists

So I’m gonna go on a little rant here. I was on Facebook (first mistake) and saw that an acquaintance posted a list from Thought Catalog titled: 25 Things Every Woman Should Have By The Time She Turns 25. Naturally I clicked on it (second mistake). Then finally, I read the whole entire thing (third and final mistake) It lists a bunch of things like “having a best friend that’s like a sister” and “having thank you cards in your drawer”, the list goes on and on. Please feel free to read it to get the gist of my annoyance. While I understand that the writer is trying to “empower women” and all that jazz, I can’t help but be supremely irritated by lists of this nature.

1. They are just as oppressive as the oppression they are trying to go against

I can tell you right now that I know a bunch of people (myself) included who do not fit this criteria who are either 25 or near it. So apparently I’m doing life wrong according to this list. Let me go crawl into bed now that I’ve realized I’m a failure at life. WRONG.  The author I guess identifies herself as a feminist, yet uses words and phrases such as, “tact, grace, and the ability to find shoes off of a 40% off rack” to describe how women should act or aspire to be by 25. I’m not even going to get into the gender connotations those words and behaviors imply. If you were going for gender equality, boy you sure nailed it. She also talks about the confidence to eat whatever and to be herself. Hm, how about the confidence to realize and justify that this list is chock full of romanticized crap that I nor anyone else has to adhere to. I mean seriously? How about this, I’ll “be myself” and forget that I ever read this list. Anyone (both male and female) should be able to live their life without having to check with a list to see if they’re doing it right. Life is not a “one size fits all” endeavor and everyone comes into their own path in a unique way.

2. It perpetuates the “Should” mentality

Everything on this list tells you what you “should” be doing. People are impressionable and by creating “standards” for them to live by can make them feel like crap if they haven’t achieved them. One of the biggest problems I see in our (millennial) generation is that we compare ourselves to each other way too much. The only thing that you “should” know when you’re 25 is that life is a confusingly beautiful adventure and it’s yours to do with as you see fit.

3. It is saying that every 25 year old has the exact same aspirations and expectations out of life

We are all different in this amazing and crazy world. My “norm” may be completely off base of what your “norm” is. And you know what? That is perfectly ok. We do not have to see eye to eye on everything, nor should we aspire to be cookie cutter drones. The dangerous thing about lists like these is that the author is perpetuating her sense of normalcy onto others and is passing it off like it’s dogma from the heavens. Who cares if you waited until you were 35 to learn how to change a tire. Maybe you hate shopping and are not savvy at a clearance rack. The beauty of life is that, as long as we’re still on this earth, we have the ability to learn, grow, and change when the time is right for each and every individual.There are no time limits on growth and all expectations need to be thrown out of the window.

Ok, now that I’ve said my peace, my only “list” for you is to live your life in a manner that makes you happiest. So long as you are not hurting others, be free to be whoever you are. Don’t take lists like these to heart, if you are 25 and you don’t have 3 months of livable income in the bank, don’t fret, most people of that age don’t (I mean, student loans, anyone?). Let’s stop placing our expectations of one another and just enjoy life as it comes. Lastly, if you value your life at all, forget that Thought Catalog ever existed. You’re self esteem and wellbeing will thank you for it. Also feel free to ignore my advice, I don’t have all of the answers either, nor do I want to place my values on others. On a side note, today is the 1 year anniversary of this blog (yay!) I will do a post on that later, as for now I’m off to find a 40% off shoe rack… 😉



What the Hell Did I Just Watch


I like my fair share of guilty pleasure IQ dropping TV shows. But what I’m watching now definitely takes the cake. If you haven’t heard of #RichKids of Beverly Hills, I suggest you make your way to Google right now. This show is in the same vein of Rich Kids of Instagram, which displays teenagers and early 20 somethings showing off their wildly outlandish lifestyles. Cars, shoes, clothing, anything you can drop a lot of money on they’re all about it.

Generally I find shows like these pretty fascinating. It’s interesting to see how these types of kids live. Granted they spend more money on a single item than I did on my entire college tuition. More often than not TV producers expertly spin these types of “reality shows” into something mildly entertaining while keeping the audience of more humbler means with a twinge of envy. #Richkids of Beverly Hills was so far off the beaten path it’s not even funny.

Picture 2 girls in their Mid-20s with nasally high pitched voices and underlying insecurity issues and Bam! You’ve got a show. Using terms like “funemployed” and “fabuluxe” you get the sense that these girls definitely do not understand the meaning of work. The true problem with the show is that its main characters are incredibly painful to watch. I don’t expect depth and good story lines but all in all they come off as boring and uninteresting. Yes, you spend a shit ton of money, and yes your life is fabulous YAWNNNN I’d rather watch someone getting their back waxed.

Anything would be more interesting really. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy mindless TV as much as the next person but dammit, keep my interest for at least 5.2 seconds. What makes it worse is that the creators of the show decided to bombard the viewers with faux texts and cheesy imagery. Not to mention all of the iPhone message sounds going on throughout the background. Between my actual phone going off due to work emails and my mother texting me coupled with the show, things definitely got confusing. For that, I’d recommend not watching on your computer, especially if you have a Mac.

The most amazing and ridiculous part of the show that almost made it worth my viewership was Jonathan the  gay musician. Dorothy decides to do a blood drive and due to him being gay, he is not allowed to participate. He immediately becomes offended and goes on a rampage insinuating that Dorothy is homophobic for supporting the “anti-gay” cause. Now, pump your brakes, I’m not saying I’m unsympathetic to his plight. With that being said, it is pretty comical to see him deem the American Association of Blood Banks homophobic. To add insult to injury he literally calls his best friend a homophobic bitch. Oy Vey on to Ms. Morgan.

Morgan is this crazy blonde with a tiny waist and big boobs (her words not mine). She is enlisting her boyfriend Brendan to help set up Dorothy. Dorothy goes on a mega-list on what her criteria is for the guy she wants to date. In shallow girl fashion, all of her requirements are physical and superficial. Brendan counters that you’re not going to find “everything”  in your partner (which is actually legit advice) in which Morgan promptly questions (rather threateningly) him if he thinks she is perfect. Now Brendan seems like he has some common sense so what he sees in this girl, I dunno. Maybe later on he will prove to be just as vapid. Anyway, so in crazy girl fashion this little remark that Brendan made ended of being discussed by Morgan and her mom (which she refers to as Susan). Her mother actually gives some sound advice which Morgan dismisses commenting that she will not be as annoying to her kids. Morgan actually revisits the conversation with Brendan insisting that he was drunk and stupid for saying it in the first place (insecure much?).

The show lasted for 43 minutes, 20 minutes too long in my opinion.  Frankly they should have cut it down to 25 at the max because all of the drama and content was not enough to sustain for that long. Bottom line is that there was too much time given to the 2 main girls (there were some supporting characters that seemed somewhat interesting but were not given much airtime). Develop the other characters and there may be something there. I was definitely disappointed because I thought I’d found another guilty pleasure show. Instead we have a mediocre show that caters to two boring not so intelligent adults who spend their days acting like teenagers. Personally I don’t think the show gives enough attention to the mass amounts of wealth being spent that could sustain 3rd world countries. Great job E! you’ve done it again. Lastly, I have another suggestion on what Twiddle dee and Twiddle dumb can spend their money on; my student loans. Just a thought ;-).