Man! I Feel Like a Woman! (No I don’t)

I hope the Shania Twain reference wasn’t lost on anyone. If it is, shame on you, it’s quite a catchy song. Anyway, I digress. As a member of the XX chromosome club, I can attest that women do/wear some of the most uncomfortable/painful things for the sake of fashion. Being the self proclaimed tomboy that I am, even I have fallen prey to the use of non-sensible shoes. Flats, to be specific. I bought some super adorable (super evil) flats the other day and I wanted to be “cute” and wear them to work. Since moving back into my sister’s house, I can’t seem to find anything.

This morning, I was trolling for the little footie socks I wear with flats. I couldn’t find anything so I thought screw it, I’ll go without them (don’t get disgusted, you know you’ve done it before too). BIG MISTAKE!!! For anyone who’s had to endure the hardship of breaking in flats (or any other uncomfortable shoe for that matter) my toes are the casualty in the war against looking plain.

By the end of the day I was limping like I was attacked and beaten in the woods and left for dead. Unfortunately, I had to run to Target to grab some new socks and some Band Aids® for my poor battered feet. So, at the risk of looking like a group attack victim, I held my head high and pretended to walk as best I could while maintaining what little dignity I could muster. Maybe it was the searing pain from the torn blister on my right foot or divine intervention, but I managed to leave Target with only the items I had on my list.

Finally I made my way home and applied this miracle contraption that is Band Aid®. I ponied up and got the blister relief ones and boy am I glad I did. Anyone who has a blister I recommend you do the same, you will not be disappointed! I swear this isn’t a plug for the brand, I just happened to really appreciate their existence more today than usual. So anyway, I’m sitting here in my moccasins giving my feet reprieve from the hell that I put them through today. I think next time I want to break in new shoes while working, I’m gonna have an extra pair on deck, and some extra socks….

The video is what I imagined I looked like at Target… Enjoy 😀

Victim of a Good Sale

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I absolutely love a good sale. All rational thoughts cease to exist from my mind once I come across a good deal. I will sometimes (almost always) even buy things I don’t really need just because they are priced right. Fortunately, my mother knows me very well and she usually talks me off the ledge.

One moment in particular was about 2 years ago when I was in Arizona for college. I was at home in Cali with my family and decided to make a trip to Target, one of my greatest weaknesses. Target has this college line that encompasses, furniture, linens, and just stuff for collegiate needs. Since my hometown does not really have a university nearby a lot of the items were drastically reduced in price because of lack of demand.

So, hoping to get a bargain, I stumbled across the bed sheets section and to my delight there was treasure to be had. There were several really cute bed spreads priced to sell! I seriously was like a kid in a candy store. So many amazing things all at once. My brain could barely process what was going on. Gluttony was starting to set in. Should I buy one set? Two? Three? Four?! I just could not get over my good fortune of finding such a phenomenal sale! To even sweeten the pot, this sale was going on for another 5 days.

In a very brief moment of clarity, I decided to walk away, think about it, and return tomorrow once I’ve had a chance to calm down. That night I told my mom and dad about how crazy amazing the bed sheet sale at Target was. Like I said, this lady knows me all too well and tried to reason with me. She was quick to remind me that I already had 4 sets of sheets back at my house in AZ and that I really didn’t need anymore. But, I thought to myself, “It’s such a good deal!”.

The next day, after my eye appointment, I found myself meandering the aisles of Target back at the very same spot I was at yesterday; looking at the sheets. I had my cart ready. Screw logic, it was a good deal! Just as I was about to load my cart with an obscene amount of sheets, my phone rang. For a second my depraved ravenous need to take advantage of the sale momentarily subsided as I picked up my phone to answer it. It was my mother.

She casually called to ask about my eye appointment. I quickly bragged about how my optometrist was baffled by my dramatic improvement in eyesight (My astigmatism of 8 years suddenly vanished as well as my prescription cut in half). She was thrilled for me as was I. She then asked me when I was coming home and if she should save lunch for me. I casually mentioned that I stopped by a store (clever, right?) and quickly attempted to change the subject. For a moment, there was silence. I will never forget the next sentence my mother told me as long as I’ll live.

“Taryn, step away from the sheets, get in your car, and drive home.” She knew! I was caught in the act. I’m sure if anyone could see my face, I looked like a 5 year old kid caught doing something they weren’t supposed to be doing. So, being the good daughter (for the most part) that I am, I walked out of the store, got in my car, and drove home. I still laugh at that memory to this day as I really did not need those sheets. Like I said, I am a sucker for a good sale. I am just glad I have a mother who seemingly has a sixth sense of my habits to ensure that I stay on the straight and narrow; and I will forever love her for that.