Wouldn’t is be nice if life would calm down so you can focus on the things you want instead of the fear that binds you? I swear it feels as though whenever I want to go right, life gives off a gust of wind that sends my flying left. Then, I’m struggling to get back in the right direction then realizing I’m lost and having to do everything all over again. Granted some of this strife is self inflicted because I find it hard to get out of my head. Maybe my coping skills are out of whack, but this is the current state of mind this Starbucks junkie is in.
I know this storm is merely temporary, and though all I can feel are clouds, I am quite excited for the upcoming future and have many great things to share with you in a few weeks time. I’m learning that I cannot control everything that happens in my life, though I sure as hell try. There are some things that I need to let go and understand that good intentions aren’t always good enough and just to “c’est la vie”. So, my goal for the next few weeks is to let go of the bad, hold on to the good, and get ready to enjoy the upcoming events!
That was something my mother told me when explained to my parents that I wanted to leave my “cushy corporate life” for the unknown island of bummage. A decision I have not regretted in the slightest. As I’ve said before I have the “gift” of doing things “half assed” and still come out smelling like a rose, well for the most part. The one thing that I love and respect about my parents is that they never tell me what I want to hear. They tell me the truth whether I like it or not, and for some reason I’m able to swallow my pride and run with it.
I am (or was?) predictable to a T. Anyone who knows me can tell you what I’m doing, where I’m doing, and who I’m doing it with (no pun intended 😉 ). Seriously, calling me a creature of habit barely begins to scratch the surface of it. Why? Honestly, I think it’s because there is comfort in the predictable. When you know the outcome, you can never be hurt, disappointed, or fail ultimately. I think that’s the reason why I’ve always been a “successful” slacker. If I succeeded, great! If I didn’t, I could always blame it on my lack of trying. Bottom line, I don’t always want to be a person with “potential”. I want to use that potential and be great.
“The greatest waste in the world is the difference between what we are and what we could become.” -Ben Herbster